Attorney and Mediator Mike McCord practices in the Cleveland area. He can be reached at 216.283.4385 and mikemcmed@aol.com.

From ohio-divorce-advice.com.

Custody disputes are the toughest cases for the Domestic Relations, Juvenile and Family Courts which hear disputes between parents. For this reason, mediation is fast becoming the preferred method of resolving parenting issues.

Courts throughout the country are using it instead of litigating parenting issues. More and more, dissolution and divorce decrees contain clauses which require mediation before filing any change in parenting motions with a court.

The following three articles introduce mediation and its process. The first is an introduction to mediation. The second summarizes the mediation process and the beginning stages of mediation, in which the mediator gathers information and helps the parties’ identify their and their children’s needs. The third explains the final stages of mediation; in which the parties discuss different options and ultimately choose the mediation method that best meets the needs of all involved.

Part I: Introduction to Mediation
Part II: The Mediation Process and Discovering Needs and Interests

Part III: The Mediation Process and Discovering Needs and Interests

In this third and final article, the discussion of options and negotiation phases of mediation are discussed.

Reaching an Agreement

Up to this point, the mediator has been gathering information. All the communication has been between the mediator and the parents, rather than between the parents themselves. Now the challenge for the mediator is to change the pattern of the communication flow.

Hopefully, the parents have listened to what each has said to the mediator. When marriages break down, the ability to communicate is among the first casualties. By controlling the communication process, the mediator has forced the parents to listen to one another.

In helping the parents develop options, the role of the mediator becomes increasingly directive, with the mediator acting as a resource tool for the parents. Creating options is the most active stage for the mediator in the process.

The mediator’s role is vastly different from the non-directive role of the counselor and the highly authoritarian role of an attorney, acting as an advocate. A mediator will never tell the parents what they should do, but the mediator will be knowledgeable in both Ohio Domestic Relations Law and child development. The mediator’s knowledge in these areas is a strong tool for parents to use when developing options.

The mediator, during the development of options, must keep the parents focused on their and their children’s interests, not their positions. Instead of focusing on a parent’s position of a fifty-fifty split in parenting time, the mediator must focus on how increased time with each parent will fit the busy schedules of all involved. Will there be overnights during the school week or additional time on weekends? Things like the children’s ages and activities and the parents’ work schedules that were discussed before become a key to evaluating parenting plan options.

Parents must take a realistic look at how different options will work for them and their children. It is possible that there will be different ways for a family to fairly share time with each other. An option that most appropriately meets everyone’s needs can be chosen.

Conclusion

If done with the cooperation of the participants, the mediation process is likely to produce a positive outcome. The effective mediator gathers information from both parents in a neutral manner. This shapes a positive setting for mediation. The parents and the mediator explore different options for mutual gain, but the mediator will not impose an agreement on parents.
A positive outcome can set the stage for future cooperation between the parties, with or without the aid of a mediator.