Attorney and Mediator Mike McCord practices in the Cleveland area. He can be reached at 216.283.4385 and mikemcmed@aol.com.

From ohio-divorce-advice.com.

Custody disputes are the toughest cases for the Domestic Relations, Juvenile and Family Courts which hear disputes between parents. For this reason, mediation is fast becoming the preferred method of resolving parenting issues.

Courts throughout the country are using it instead of litigating parenting issues. More and more, dissolution and divorce decrees contain clauses which require mediation before filing any change in parenting motions with a court.

The following three articles introduce mediation and its process. The first is an introduction to mediation. The second summarizes the mediation process and the beginning stages of mediation, in which the mediator gathers information and helps the parties’ identify their and their children’s needs. The third explains the final stages of mediation; in which the parties discuss different options and ultimately choose the mediation method that best meets the needs of all involved.

Part I: Introduction to Mediation

Part II: The Mediation Process and Discovering Needs and Interests

In this second of three articles, the early stages of the mediation process are explained. In the initial stages information is gathered and needs and interests of the parents and their children are discussed.

The Mediation Process

Mediation is defined as a process in which the participants, with the assistance of a neutral third party, systematically identify disputed issues. This enables them to develop options, consider alternatives and reach a consensual agreement that will accommodate their needs.

The stages of mediation are:

In mediation, the process and ground rules are critical. From the start, the mediator must control the communication between the parents.

The ground rules are:

		In the first three stages, each parent should address their comments only to the mediator. The other parent should not interrupt the parent speaking.
		The parents should speak only for themselves.
		As the mediation reaches the fourth and fifth stages and the parents are developing options and negotiating, each parent can start communicating directly with one another.

Why have initial communications through the mediator? The parties’ communication may have broken down or may be causing problems. The mediator will be able to fairly balance the discussion and get information from both parties. The second ground rule, speaking only for oneself, is important because often one person will say what they believe the other person thinks or feels. Statements like that are destructive and will only derail the mediation process.

Parents’ Needs and Children’s Needs

In the information gathering stage, the mediator will equalize the communication. This also involves getting information and tailoring the process to the people’s needs. The mediator will need to know basic facts about the people’s lives like where they live, when they work and what time commitments they have.

Also, the mediator needs to understand the parents’ individual goals and hopes for the future. Questions like: Do they plan to go back to school? Are they contemplating a job change or a move to a new community?

The mediator also needs to get information regarding the children. What are their activities and school schedules? What are the personalities and special needs of each child? During this stage of the mediation the mediator will get knowledge and will control the process, so that neither party gets the upper hand. The questioning focuses on the present and future, not the past.

Emphasis on the future is a fundamental principle of mediation. Further, the discussion of the children helps parents focus on children’s needs and reinforces the joint responsibilities of parenthood.

Focus on the parents’ and children’s needs is the underlying principle of mediation. The parents won’t be asked to state a position. The mediator will seek background information and understanding of the current situation. If the parties are in mediation, then there is some reason the current situation is not be meeting all the needs of the parents and the children.

Gathering information in a neutral manner allows the mediator to get a sense of each parent’s position without putting it in those terms. One parent may relate that the current parenting schedule is not enough and that more contact is needed. However, even if such a declaration is made, the mediator will seek to determine where the parents’ and children’s needs and interests lie so that the parents can, with the help of the mediator, create options and alternatives that fit this specific family best.

Part III: The Mediation Process and Discovering Needs and Interests