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Carol Rogers Hilliard
is a member of the Center for Principled
Family Advocacy and committed to using
collaborative methods to help people through
the divorce process. You can reach her at
(440) 826-1250 or at chilliardlaw@sbcglobal.net.
For more information go to
www.hilliardlaw.com.
The Center for Principled Family
Advocacy,
www.famad.com
So, you want to do your own divorce without
a lawyer? Certainly, you can do your own
divorce—just like you can sell your own
house without a realtor, invest your money
without a financial planner, do your taxes
without an accountant and have your babies
without a doctor.
However, in a court room you are held to the
same standards and knowledge as the
professionals. Some divorces can be quite
simple, especially if you have few assets,
no debt or children, are capable of your own
support and both of you want the divorce.
How many people really meet these criteria?
What usually happens is that one of you
wants a divorce. The other is still reeling
from the news that the marriage is over.
Doing your own divorce in this situation is
fraught with problems for both of you, but
especially for the one who doesn't want it.
They will either resist rational requests or
duties resulting in foreclosures and
repossessions or will agree to anything just
to get it over with—resulting in an unfair
court order.
An attempt to use one lawyer is almost as
bad. One lawyer can only represent ONE of
you. The other spouse is on their own. Guess
who is the one most likely to come out
short?
Divorce is complex
Divorce is one of the most complicated areas
of the law. Your separate property is not
part of the marital estate, which must be
divided in an equitable manner. Pre-tax
assets such as pensions have to be
calculated and divided separately from taxed
assets such as the house. All of your assets
must be appraised and evaluated for a
fair-market or present-day value. The debts
have to be similarly divided.
For starters, you have to be good at math,
have an understanding of what are the assets
and how to determine what kind of assets you
own.
Second, you better have an understanding of
your reaction under stress. Divorce is way
up there on the stress meter. Most people
are unable to make good decisions during
times of stress.
Remember the kids and their
future Don't forget about
the children. How are they are going to
share their time during these priceless
formative years between you and their other
parent? Who's going to support them, provide
health insurance, pay day care and get the
tax exemption? How do you use the child
support worksheet to calculate child support
if you don't know how these factors
interact?
A divorce—even a nice, civilized and
no-fault dissolution—determines the
financial future for you and your children
for the rest of your lives. Don't forget you
are negotiating all these issues during a
time of high stress.
Using lawyers is the right thing to do,
especially those trained in collaborative
law or other non-court processes that allow
you to participate and be creative in doing
your divorce. Experienced attorneys can help
you maintain the control you desire, keep
your costs down and make sure that all your
issues are addressed properly and legally.
Don't do your own divorce without them!
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